The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Erotic Labs Experimentation Phase 1
Just a fun little role playing session I had over several nights.
Average Scores:

Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

Would have liked it better if it were made slightly more legible, as far as reading a chatlog goes.

Benji Dude
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Didn't get past the first paragraph through poor grammar and all round attention to what had already been typed. Most deffinatly needs a re-write.

nobody much
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2

Since we know nothing about the characters, I had a hard time getting into reading the log. Just a simple log is not a very good means of amusing an audience, if we have no investment (unlike the players) in the characters. I'm a big MPG fan, so of course it was fun to see that in ridiculous quantity, but either you need to give us some introductions to the characters before the log, or you need to just bite the bullet and translate the whole thing into a story.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Well if anyone wants to help me write it into a story I'm all ears. E-mail me at the address listed in the log and maybe we can chat.

Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

A real chore to read

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Standing alone it is incomprehensible. The file is truncated.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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