The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Stretcherr
Anna 2.0
Average Scores:

Above Ground Pool Prices
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Stupid article..!

Alphabits
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 4

I'm not a fan of NC, so that probably biases me quite a bit, but still, why did Al or Collin even bother thinking this was remotely moral or ethical? The basic process involves locking her away in her subconscious and raping her repeatedly while she watches and eventually gives up resisting. The speed at which her opinion changed is unbelievable (it sounded like there was something about how it wasn't her the whole time until Annie put back in all her non-bitch emotions, which seems to bork the continuity when she took over during the system failure), and the process seems to more resemble forcing her into a prison cell until Stockholm syndrome took over than an intervention to show her how and why to loosen up. And why would Anna have known about the program? Did she work in the same department? was she also required to attend the parties? Did she also willingly work on Forcibly_Alter_Personality_And_Physique.exe? Because that really doesn't sound like something she'd be a part of.

Characters are all terrible. Anna's bitch is up past 11 and she has 0 redeeming attributes. Collin is a drooling moron and no one knows why he would "love" Anna. Al appears to be a plank of wood vaguely shaped like a person. Story would've made much more sense and probably been more enjoyable if Collin was more of a sleaze-ball who was dating Anna so he could have a shell to turn her into an ideal girlfriend. That would solve so much about his motivations.

Bill Pratt
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4


Overall


Nice conceit. Reminds me of the old OMAC series with it's Electro-surgery.
Sadly, I don't really like what happened to Anna or how it happened. Anna had
too little control over what happened and too little resistance, so why bother
doing the transformation slowly when it looked like Collin, Al and Annie could
just jerk her DNA around whenever they wanted. Why do it slowly? Some sort of
time frame or explanation of the limits of the transformation process is
needed.

BE


Dull BE. I think most of the really fun stuff is still locked away in
Stretcherr's head. This is really unfortunate because I think there's some
really hot swelling and bra snapping action in there waiting to get out.

"[S]porting 45 triple EEEs to Annas 28 As" describes a blimp and a
beanpole (respectively), not a busty babe and a flat, but sexy, woman. The
number is the circumference beneath the breast, more or less, and the letter
describes the difference between the number and the circumference around the
breasts.

Characters


Anna and Al are cardboard (and rate a 3), but I really dislike Collin. The
guy's letting himself be pushed around by everyone. He's got his devoted sexy
Anna, but she's wasted on the loser because he's reads like the sort of guy
who'll just find someone else to abuse him. It could be based on my being
somewhat monogamous and don't really like the idea of sharing my GF with my
boss. How could you trust Al anyway? Odds are, sooner or later, Collin's
going to be reprogrammed in the name of science.

Technical


The dialogue is slightly choppy, but this is due to it being a bit too
grammatically correct. Grammar is really good, but Stretcherr needs to watch
out for commas and word transposition ("They're, their, there" and "your,
you're" switches both showed up in the story)
Reaver
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I especially enjoyed the turn toward a more curvacious body, the whole curve of the belly.

CptnStup1d
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Goog stoty. Could have done with a little more description of the changes.

cannible reader
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I gave it a perfect because although it lacked a bit in some areas it was fine wrighting and I felt it rated higher than previous readers judged it. Great concept, I want more from the wrighter.

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