The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

pakled
pakled05@hotmail.com
Master PC- the Origin
Ok, something with some actual breast expansion. There's a subcult of erotica out there, based on mind control. A lot of it is, uh..well, never mind. Some of it, however, is not all that bad. There is a subcult of THAT subcult, called 'Master PC', where the stories are written that you can use a program to design anyone to look or act anyway you want. A lot of that is stranger than fiction, no telling who wants what nowadays..;) Where this all got started? well, I just thought I would give it one of those 'origin of' stories. Sci-fi, a bit too much plot, but hopefully the naughty bits will make up for that. Run through Word spell and grammar check (word 2003). Read through a couple of times as well. With luck, it is not too off. Have fun
Average Scores:

TacoKing
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I really did enjoy this story, it was a fairly long one but I actually like that facet. The amount of BE as well as other transformation was frequent (which I liked), though greater detail could have been used. The charcters were rather simple, but they wern't annoying so I could tolerate them. Overall a great read.

Codeandrew
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I thought this was a great start to a story. Although I would be curious to know if you are going to continue with your two characters or go into the past? I felt that you could of done more at the end but i figure this was a test to see how it went over. I also like how you didn't involve to much in such a short story. I have read other MC works and find some go wrong when they try to add just too much in. But I felt this one was very good. Simple/sweet very nice read.

pakled
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

did I turn off comments on this? or is it really that bad?..;) want to improve it if I can. Scathing comments appreciated..;)

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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