The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Paul Gerard
Quest for Bigg’s Bozom (World of Altaerna, 2010)
Caryn "the snake" Dobbs isn’t exactly the kind of woman you’d want as your superior. As the spiteful, arrogant Head of Accounting at Planet Altaerna’s major nuclear research facility, the Large Head-On Collider, she’s in for quite a surprise when the most expensive particle experiment ever created goes haywire - and she’s got only herself and her suppressed urges to blame for that... A self-contained story from the World of Altaerna universe, with a little nod or two to other story arcs yet to come.
Average Scores:

Javiera
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Meeting the Lion of BabylonAs book reviewer for Benthany house, I chose Davis Bunn’s 378 pages-book ttleid Lion of Babylon that was an action-packed book book I loved the reading. Firstly, Bunn’s description of Iraq’s present-day political struggle among several political parties based on clans and religious affiliations is quite realistic while foreign countries (United States and Iran) tried to influence Iraq’s internal politics. Then, with the undercover agent named Marc Royce sent in Iraq to rescue his missing best friend and three hostages, he has to deal with Iraq’s insecurity filled with terrorist bombing from religious fanatics and others commissioned by foreign powers. However, he will find out an expected ally in a Christian lawyer named Sameh El-Jacobi, and though very suspicious about him for his real intentions during their first meetings, the Sameh will turn into his loyal admirer. Though Bunn’s fifty-one chapters’ book can appear unreasonable, but each chapter provides the effect that want to read more about the events occurring in the book, so you do not stop of turning the pages by reading.From these facts, The Lion of Babylon is must-read book for common readers, but highly recommended to several politicians in order to know better Iraq. Despite The Lion of Bagdad is a fiction work, Bunn succeeds to provide a realistic present-day Iraq living filled with lack of national unity, terrorist attacks and daily insecurity living such as kidnappings. It was a modern and post-saddam Hussein Iraq occupied by American forces since the last Gulf War for wrong reasons while other foreign nations worked with different agendas to determine Iraq’s fate far for democratic ideals. Lastly, through his writing, Bunn described the present-day Iraq about the tragedy of a people while it provided information about Arabic History and customs for meeting and greeting friends, showing off with doubt his knowledge about Arab civilization. Consequently, without hesitation, I highly recommend anyone Bunn’s Lion of Baghdad as that book deserve to be turned into an action-thriller movie.

passby
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

just discovered your stories.

Got to say i love what I've read thus far.

Please keep up the excellent works.

ForcedLactation Lover
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

None

Anon
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Nice story, I hope to read more episodes. A few minor technical errors with spelling and grammar, but I can't complain too much as it's still an awful lot better than my German!

razaksroughnecks
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I really enjoyed this one. I was a little confused when Caryn's eyes became snake-like but then was never mentioned again. I hope that gets explored a bit more when this story is continued! Great work!

Anonymous
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really enjoyable writing style, and the two mains besides Ms. Dobbs (who seemed somewhat unnecessarily irrational overall) were rather funny. BE wasn't particularly descriptive but the cliffhanger end twist was interesting enough.

shines01
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Nice growth scenes. That, plus the fact that her last growth is left to the imagination makes for a good story. Maybe Caryn grows to the size of a planet? Then the magic in her provides for a new species? Ah, the imagination

Merkava IV
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

My only real niggle with this story is the section where Carl puts his hand on "Jenny's" cauliflower sized nipple, when it should be Caryn's.

Otherwise, I enjoyed it thouroughly. Write more... we're all waiting.

madmacs2010
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I liked the story, but i think i would have preferred further developments towards the main characters and their growth rather than focussing on the Snake, she wasn't as likeable a character and so it made it harder to get into the story than if the story had focussed around the sexy wife maybe. But then perhaps those ideas are coming in other episodes.

Paul Gerard
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Ooops, here I go again, commenting on my own story.
People, please, for those who know my mail address: Don’t flaunt it just like that on a public web page. The spam I get is bad enough already. I'm also in the forum (PaulG), and you can send me a private message there. Thanks.
That said, thanks for each and every comment (and that includes "pretty terrible") ;)

ameria_loire
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Very Free- Paul is German. I was surprised too. He gave an email address in one of his earlier stories.

I've put one of his stories on my blog. I had to ask permission so I know it works.

Here:

paul_gerard_writer@yahoo.com

Yep.
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

I liked the satirical elements related to the LHC and such. However, the characters arent memorable at all. Fun story though!

Very Free
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I found at least 2 dozen errors, some of which were grammar or sentence problems (I wish I could send the author some comments, since he claims to be a non-native English speaker - but he could have fooled me, he's a lot better than most). But altogether I like the story, it's just that it's frustrating to not come to a conclusion, leaving the reader hanging. The story is interesting (author has a vivid imagination!) but the BE could be a bit more detailed. After all, that's what this is all about - there's always room for more BE.

durr
Overall= 2, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

Pretty terrible, written on a pretty forced premise

deus
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

There were just a few words off, but overall it was pretty good. More please!

Stretch
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

The grammar was a bit off here and there but the style more than made up for that. I look forward to more of this story.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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