The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Paul Gerard
Yrba’s Travels Pt. 2 – Under Soiled Doves’ Wings
World of Altaerna, the year 1200.
Yrba (a witch) and Mirca (a serf girl, freshly high on the witch’s growth potion) hide in Red’s (a bawd) brothel after their jailbreak of part 1 (included in the zip for your convenience).
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Personally, I got a little overwhelmed with all the girls of the whorehouse. The magic system seems to be a lot deeper than it seems (or maybe I need to go back and read Jailbreak), I was trying to figure out what was going on, and how Mirca was able to control it (or why she was affected the time with Berry) and failed.

The expansion scenes were well-done for the most part, though they may have run a little long in description in a few places.

Li's... fantasy moment kind of creeped me out, esp. when the hair grabbed. back.

On the whole, an interesting interlude, complete with backstory and sexin', and I'll be reading the next part sometime soon.

Anon E Mouse
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Highly entertaining. You kept this story strictly B.E. and I love that!

Oh Sai
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Overall, a good story. Keep up the good work, Paul.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

New characters with distinctive character traits is a plus. It'll be interesting to see how Mirca develops under their influence.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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