The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

IBod - A life changing music player
Aaron gets chosen to beta test a new kind of music player but experiences some unintended and life changing side effects.
My first crack at a story, so please be gentle.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really enjoyed this! You also have very good taste in music it seems lol. Keep writing please!
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Hope you get the chance to write more

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Very nice. Both the story and the handling of the growth. Write more.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Awesome story. That's pretty much it. Keep writing.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Very well done. Looking forward to seeing more from you.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

fascinating idea

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I liked it alot! I hope to see more work from you.

Russian Judge
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I know you wrote this on a Mac...thanks for putting it in TXT format...but reading it in Wordpad, it shows up as a huge hunk of text with no paragraphs. I can tell where paragraphs were supposed to be, but even they seemed kind of big.

Still enjoyed the TG and pregnancy aspects of the story.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Might be nice to give a description of the characters in question, instead of having the reader fill in the gap. I'm impressed with how thorough it was though, a lot of details were added which a lot of writers just leave out, but which gave a good deal of life to the story.

Thumbs up and hope to read more from you.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

if this is your first try, i can only imagine what's next...

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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