The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Paul Gerard
Yrba’s Travels Pt. 5 - Gold and Blood (World of Altaerna, 1200)
Yrba the witch has set up camp in the forest while she tries to teach her Amazonian protege Mirca how to keep the potion-fuelled fits of sudden breast expansion under control. Red the bawd coaxes her reluctant gypsy friend into a little body modeling that might not go unnoticed. The first snow drives the camping couple back to Red’s brothel. And then a simple contraband run goes wrong, dead wrong... -- HTML, 18,800 words, 105 kChars. Zip contains previous parts. Well, y’all know my standard plea by now: Please comment ;)
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Wow! oh Wow, just finished reading this episode, you write so well, a true master of the pen! if this were ever published into "normal style" literature, I'd buy it! the final scene - wonderfully crafted, nearly brought a tear! going to have to start reading the next chapter straight away. keep going my friend

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Yet again, you've crafted another gem of a story. I'm glad that you put some tragedy in here, too. I really can't wait to see some guy-on-girl action, though.

Avg Joe
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Nice well developed characters, good dialogue. Excellent sentence structure and grammer. A very realistic feeling world. Keep up the good work!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

really enjoyed the descriptions of Mirca's training with both Yrba and Li. Shed a tear for Berry. I hope the bastards that set her and Mirca up get what's coming to them. Great stories, keep up the great work.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I really enjoyed the chapter "A Paying Customer". Well written with a nice variety of adjectives.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I kind of got lost around Chapter 3, but I am looking forward to reading chapter 5. Overall, I really enjoyed the flow of the story up until she left the kingdom.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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