The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Dark Trianni
Sue, a shy and homely girl, turns to a demon for help in getting the boy of her dreams. But what happens when the demon has plans of her own?...

My second post here, and I tried to be more original. Please check the Read Me file before reading for a small request.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I absolutely loved the Cow TF. Your writing and descriptions were fantastic! I liked the revenge motivator, and wish more stories would use it like you did.

Please write another chapter on this one! Or even a similar new story.


Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I was expecting her to do something to Gary just because Sue liked him so much.

Very nice. Very nice tfs. loved it, keep going.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Awesome cow tf. Check your email for longer commentary.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Way to incorporate a little futanari into the story. I really liked the epilogue. Nice job!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Great story! I enjoyed the transformation scenes very much.
Also, I was glad you didn't spend too much time developing the characters before getting into the sexier stuff. We got to know the characters without reading a detailed autobiography. :)

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Pretty much what everyone else said here. Still, it's good enough to get off on. Easy read, good work up, but it did fade out a little too quickly. Frankly though, I know how hard to keep a plot short. Good stuff overall.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I like it! You're writing/descriptions are awesome. Continue writing, please.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Pretty good, overall really enjoyable. There were a few weird internal problems with the 'magic' system: if Bella could make a penis for herself, why not make boobs? And like Anony said above, if Bella needed some process for the first transformation why could she make the second one just happen?

If you're just reading for pure fap material, though, this was one of the better pieces I've read here. Only other complaint is that you have it marked as preg when there is no real description of preg in the story, aside from the vague epilogue.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I really liked the cow-ification. Then again I'm a big fan of revenge or comeuppance stories. You could have easily written a sequel vs the quick ending, but that is a selfish minor nit-pic. Overall, great job! Please keep writing!

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Good stuff. My only complaint is that it ended too quickly.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

I would've liked to see more BE in the story. It seems like you got inpatient at the end and just wrapped up the story in the epilogue. It seems like the bulk of the story could be expanded out from there instead of being quickly summed up. Also, DD and E are the same size. I hope you keep writing. The quality is good overall.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Interesting story. My main complant, plot-wise, would be the question of why Bella does this to Sue and the others in he first place. (I don't ever think that "because she's EVIL, duh" is enough motivation for a character.) Maybe I just like happy endings too much to enjoy a story where an evil force simply gets exactly what it wants at the expense of all the humans around it.

Also, minor confusion: Bella needs Laura for the first transformation, but can trzansform Minx at will?

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Great stuff!

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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