The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Dora Disaster and the Big Balloons
Dora plans a private birthday celebration for her husband and gets a special delivery, just in time. But, unexpectedly, her generous gift might also help Dora with a lifelong problem: her incorrigible clumsiness. A helium inflation story with lots of BE and AG, more lighthearted in tone than the last couple stories.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

You are rapidly becoming a new Kodos for this site. A reliable source of high quality and thrill. You're one of the few legitimately wonderful writers here, who could use your talents for any fiction but have the kindness to spare some for these consuming tales for all to see. Thank you and keep writing! This site wouldn't be the same without you.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

What a great story TrebleClef! I know that some of the serious readers here may think that Dora does not have enough depth, but the light hearted spirit of the story makes up for her ineptness. Dora being like that is what moves the story along! I really liked the descriptions starting, on the PDF version, Page 18. (Page number to prevent spoilers btw). Anyway, the descriptions were vivid and her experience, other than what happens to the suit and the room, is enviable. I hope we get to read more adventures with Dora. Her characteristics make her a perfect subject to interact with these sorts of mechanics. The only criticism I can offer is... please don't beat her up as much! :)

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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