Grab ya Story by the...Boobies

You know what the best thing about writing BE fiction is? No matter what you write, as long as there’s BE in it you’ll have a concentrated group of readers clamoring for your story. That’s what makes BE fiction so easy to write… everyone is on the same solid ground.

BUT

There can be a drawback to this ‘ease of understanding.’ If you don’t get the reader’s interest in the first thousand or so words you’ll lose him. He will skim over your hard work and well-crafted words looking for the phrase, “and her breasts started to get bigger.”

And in case you’re wondering just how much is 1000 words, check out my two paragraphs above… about 100.

So how do you get a reader’s attention? You could start with your main character. You must think—what aspect does she (or he depending on your angle) have that would make a reader think, “Hmmm, I wonder what this person’s about.”

One tactic is to take a slender heroine and have her examining herself in a bathroom mirror. This is an amateur’s tactic—something that screams, “I can’t think of any better way to describe my character than this.”

But don’t worry, even the best succumb: “He turned and gazed tiredly into the full-length mirror across the room. The man staring back at him was a stranger—tousled and weary.”

This is from The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown. In case you’ve been living in a cave: this book has become a lifetime best-seller. I’m sure Mr. Brown’s so well off he wipes his ass with twenties. (NOTE: I know not how he goes to the bathroom, I’m sure he uses Charmin… so Mr. Brown please don’t sue.) But even the best can take a short cut.

So what now? Simple, try to give your reader a little hint.

Jennifer pressed the gas pedal a little harder. She would be late for work in less than twelve minutes. The first light of downtown turned red. She hit the brakes and tried to fight the bundle of panic crawling up her throat.

Jen dared not look at the car’s clock. She adjusted the rearview mirror. The long nights in the office were playing hell on her brown eyes. The flesh around her eyes looked more and more like half-melted butter. She needed to pluck her eyebrows again. She slumped back in her seat and glanced out the passenger-side window.

At the corner sat a dirty adult store. There was a plastic party going on in the windows along with bright displays of crimson, red, and leopard-spotted lingerie. One of the mannequins had enormous boobs. Jen secretly wondered what it would be like to have giant boobs–the kind that were larger than her head. Sex had to be different when you were stacked. Much better than the dull crap she had suffered through in the past two months.

A horn blared. Jen looked forward, the light had changed. She slammed the accelerator, sending a flimsy cloud of burned rubber high into the air.

This isn’t much but the reader now knows Jen’s curious about having giant boobs. We know she’s dissatisfied with her sex life, but why and with whom? You now can bore the reader with Jen’s crappy life at her office in the city. Doesn’t matter—you now have the reader’s attention.