Index

Let’s start with the much-maligned and abused comma.

“,”

There he is. Simple-looking, isn’t he? But so many people have so much trouble figuring out where in their sentences he’s supposed to go (if he’s supposed to be there at all), and many more just ignore him completely. Poor little comma.

But fear not! We can help!

Let’s start simple: the comma as the separator in a list of objects, places, ideas, or things.

See how easy that was? A comma is used every time a new ‘thing’ is brought up. We could break this down to:

item1, item2, item3, and item4.

Note that we use a comma after the penultimate (second-to-last) item, in this case item3. This is considered optional by a great many people, but just as many swear by this inclusion, called the serial comma. It’s a personal preference; we find it helps with readability and avoids ambiguity.

Commas are generally used to create pauses, but, in spoken sentences, rarely provide a lengthy break. They may seem irrelevant, and in some cases even insignificant, but to the important people in your life, they separate you from your peers.

Learn it, love it, live it.

The comma’s use in everyday sentences seems to be a source of confusion for many writers. I’ve read stories that have very few commas:

“She walked up the beach attracting stares all the way and not caring that her bikini was about to burst off.”

And there are times when the comma is just overused:

“Afterward, she tried to, carefully do up, her top because she realized, that it was falling off.”

Here’s the rule of thumb for commas: if you’d pause when reading the sentence aloud, there’s a good chance there should be a comma there. This is definitely not a hard-and-fast rule; there are many exceptions. First, let’s correct the two example sentences:

“She walked up the beach, attracting stares all the way, not caring about that her bikini was about to burst off.”

“Afterward, she tried to carefully do up her top, because she realized that it was falling off.”

These are tricky! Sometimes, things just parse better with a longer break in them; again, this is a job for the semicolon!

“Afterward, she tried to carefully do up her top; she had realized it was falling off.”

This could become a compound sentence. These are created when two sentences are joined together without adding any words.

“This is now a form of a compound sentence; these are created when two sentences are joined together without adding any words, and instead using a semicolon.”

The best way to get a feel for comma/semicolon usage, in my opinion (note the use of the commas to offset an interjection), is to read stories that use commas effectively and naturally.

Now, what if you want to describe the items as you list them (as writers are wont to do)? Then our friend, the semicolon, comes into play.

“;”

Odd-looking fellow, isn’t he? A period over a comma? What’s he used for?

Well, he can be used for something like this:

item1, a rare watch; item2; item3, an apple; and item4, a statue.

See how that worked? The semicolon acted as the comma did in our earlier example, as a separator in the list. The comma in this case performs it’s other, more common job here: naturally breaking up ideas.

The period is essential to writing because it keeps sentences from going on and on, with no end in sight, and forcing the author to try and get around this with other constructions; these massive run-on sentences can range from something like this sentence: a monster that could use some chopping up with well-placed periods, but is grammatically “correct”; to a dangerous, unreadable mess of a sentence that extends for pages, with no punctuation whatsoever.

Phew!

“.”

Useful, no?

Sentences should, at a bare minimum, have a verb and a subject. And they should END, for God’s sakes.

“Kelsey wept. Her little dog died, and she was sad, because it was her favorite.”

Not:

“Kelsey wept... her little dog died... and she was sad... because it was her favorite...”

This is a misuse of the ellipsis, which is the technical name for this guy:

“...”

Three periods. “No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.” Right out, indeed. The ellipsis is for when people trail off when speaking, and that’s it’s ONLY USE. Not even when people get cut off.

“But-”

No buts. Moving on!

”

The double-quote. Standard method of relaying dialogue, titles of magazine articles, signage, and for relaying other bits of your story to the reader. In the hierarchy of quotations, it’s the president, and it takes precedence over the single quote in denoting these things.

’

The single-quote. Standard method of relaying dialogue within dialogue, and quoting strange or odd words, among other things. Easily mistaken for the apostrophe, its evil twin brother. In the hierarchy of quotations, it’s the vice-president, doing what the erstwhile ‘president’, the double quote (”) does when he’s already on duty.

Example #1:

“Sometimes, things get a little ‘wonky’ when you have to quote someone. It can be confusing, I admit,” he said, “but don’t worry. It’s not that hard.”

First, notice how the word “wonky” is framed by single-quotes. Since the word is found within a quotation, the single-quotes take over the job of the double quotes to separate the word in the sentence, this time for the speaker to quote a word directly that he/she would not normally use. Using double-quotes in this situation to denote the unusual word would imply the ending of the main quotation, not the introduction of the word “wonky”, destroying this important grammatical construct.

Second, note that when a quotation is not complete, but the author needs to break from the actual quote itself (after the word “admit”, but before the word “but”), he uses a comma to denote a continuation, and does not capitalize the word immediately after (the word “he” in this case) nor does he capitalize the continuation quote word “but”, since the original quote was not complete. This is the trickiest way to work with quotes, but it can be a most effective wording device when used correctly. Generally, you only want to break a quote midstream in places where you would logically pause within the total quotation itself without ending it, like after a comma, semicolon, and sometimes, a colon.

Example #2:

“Then he said ‘What’s up with you?’, like he knew what was about to happen,” the newly-endowed Susan complained to her friend. “I couldn’t believe he was so like ‘How’ve you been’, and I’m like ‘I feel woozy’, and he’s like ‘Oh boy!’ He was excited, visibly excited! I still can’t believe this all happened.” She jiggled her her brand-new basketball buddies for emphasis.

Note several things:

First, single quotes highlight quotations within quotations. It’s important to distinguish speakers in order to make your text easier to read.

Second, note the apostrophe in “How’ve” does not end the single quotation, although it looks virtually identical to the single-quote. It doesn’t come up often, but when it does, carefully distinguish it.

Third, punctuation is important, and takes precedence over any quotations you may be making. The final quotation “Oh boy!” effectively ends that sentence because the exclamation point finishes the idea and ends the sentence of quotations. No additional period is needed, because the punctation from the final quotation takes precedence in sentence structure.

Note also how in the previous two quotes, no period is needed, because the endings are implied by the end of the quote, and subsequently, a comma is needed to separate the quotations and change of speaker. Even more interestingly, the first quotation “What’s up with you?” contains a question mark because it denotes a question, and since there are more quotes to follow, it does not end the entire sentence, resulting in the subsequent comma after the quote, denoting continuation.

Quotes layer like so: “text1 ‘text2 “text3” text2’ text1.” Simple alternation as you go deeper and deeper. You most likely won’t ever have to go further than " ' ' “, but just in case, that’s how you would.

If a person’s saying it out loud, it goes in quotes. Period. Telepathy? Instant messaging? You’re free to mess around with <angle brackets>, [square brackets], italics, bolding, or whatever else floats your boat. Avoid ‘single quotes’, as they can have other uses.

Punctuating quotes can be tricky as well.

“In most cases, just use a period.”

“If the same person is going to start talking after some description my the narrator, however,” he said, “use a comma, and when the quote picks back up afterwards, do not capitalize the first word. Use a comma at the end of the description, too, especially if it’s short.”

“If it’s EVER more than two people talking, or there’s any chance of confusion (unless it’s a crowd scene and who’s talking really doesn’t matter), tell us who’s talking,” Jean said to Robert. The two were sitting together in a small, spartan living room.

“Of course, just using the same phrase over and over, like ‘he said,’ isn’t any good either.” Robert countered.

“Yeah,” Jean added, “just adding the name isn’t a good use of the flow of the story. Add what the characters are doing,” she said, getting up to get a drink from the kitchen.

“And never forget to change paragraphs when the dialogue changes hands.” Robert leaned back. “For example-”

“If Rob here were to get cut off-” Jean said as she returned with two waters in hand.

“Or I cut off Jean...” He rubbed his chin, his voice trailing off, trying to think of what to say next. “Well, let’s just say that punctuation in dialogue is almost as important as the content.”

“Good dialogue is what a story hinges on. People can identify much better with your characters if they can understand what they’re talking about.” She sat down.

Jim stuck his head in the door. “Sorry to intrude, but if a new person enters the conversation, definitely tell the reader.” He crossed the room and sat down with a sigh. “Nothing fancy, just keep everyone up to date.”

“But don’t leave dialogue hanging out in the open if there’s no way to identify who said it. Being the only girl in the room, and me saying that in my lines, can let you not drop in a boring ‘Jean said,’ but that doesn’t happen all that often.”

“And don’t forget to read your dialogue if at all possible. If it sounds weird, rewrite it!” Jim finished off the conversation with.

“You talking to me, Baldy?”

“I’ll have my eggs over easy, Honey.”

“Shut your face, Asshole.”

Following the general rules of style, these should not be capitalized. Honorifics like sir and ma’am should generally not be either:

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll have that for you, sir, in just a moment.”

“But Miss Baker, you said that I could go out after we finished hosing down my breasts!”

Note the capitalization of “Miss” in “Miss Baker”; it’s part of a proper name. For an extreme example, “Sir Wobbly, Archduke of Knockers, Prince of Shadow Peaks, and Good Lord and Master of His Domain,” would be capitalized in that fashion.

“Mr. Wells, Mrs. Robinson, and Ms. Meyers were all coming over for tea and crumpets later; won’t you please stay?”

Nicknames are tricky as well. If the character has a name, and the nickname is used as an insult, such as:

“Move it, egghead,”

There’s no need to capitalize. If they go by that name in lieu of their real name, capitalize it.

“Hi, my name’s Johnathan, but please call me ‘John’.”

“We called her ‘Tits’, because that was what she was: two masses of flesh attached to legs, with only minimal brain aiming them. ‘Hey, Tits!’ I yelled. She spun around, her bra-less monsters bouncing and swaying on her chest.”

Pronouns are easy enough: no capitalization (excepting the self-refferential ‘I’, of course):

“Hey, you! Come over here and talk to her; and I want to see your face!”

“Y’all ran off before I got to say I was gonna’ miss ya’. Well, I will. And y’all hurry back now, y’hear?”

Colloquialisms shouldn’t change your capitalization style.

For Pete’s sake, spellcheck! You being too poor for Microsoft Word isn’t an excuse anymore; there are plenty of free alternatives out there. Google up AbiWord and OpenOffice.org, both of which are free, multi-platform text editors that work just as well as Word does.

Use your return key. It’s on keyboards for a reason, and paragraphs actually do make your story read better.

Get a proofreader. Even if it’s just some dude on the forum, there’s no story that couldn’t use a little feedback from someone who has nothing invested in it, as opposed to you, who just spent 20 hours slaving away at your baby.

Above all, enjoy writing!