The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

A Devils Deal Part the First
First part of an epic I'm in the middle of. What happens when magic reenters a world that has not known it? Things begin 'growing' out of control!
Average Scores:

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2

Get a thesaurus and try to find some synonyms for magnificent and reverence: http%3A//

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 2

Pertaining to both story parts:

Certain parts of the story were pleasantly erotic. Some of the words were improperly used and distracting.

The subplot about the wizards seemed to be completely unrelated to the story about the researcher. The author has shown great potential, but needs to refine his/her techinique.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

It was an okay story but I felt like the researcher's storyline detracted from the overall enjoyment. I was irritated by the lack of effort put into the characters... you didnt even bother to think up original names... Dishwalla, Cold Play, Aerosmith...honestly?

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

Great story, about the names though, they are a little distracting, even though there are real names like Jen and Dirk, its hard to keep track of who's who, and it might have been a good idea to seperate both stories so they take place at the same time in the same universe but are separate stories at least until the conference.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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