The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

A Devils Deal, Part the Second
A deal has been made, and a brave new world has been entered... but now our nubile med student must TEST her formula... can we say 'girls night'?
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

This is for both parts of the story. I like the premise, unfortunately the spelling and grammatical mistakes detract somewhat from the story.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

Ouch...the misuse of words and the grammer were really painful in parts.

"A pension for evil" ??? It made me giggle and want to cry all at the same time. Please get someone else to proofread your work before you post it, it's in your own best interest. That goes for any writing, and for every author who wants to have a good quality piece of work. It's too easy to miss your own mistakes because you know what you intended.

Other than that, enjoyable enough. The characters had some life to them, and it could really go somehwere.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

Love the story so far, I don't understand why you've posted it in two parts on the same day.

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

Needs a lot of worm in the description of the BE. You spend a lot of worlds describing how they feel sexually, but not enough on how the growth progresses, what they would look like, how the growth feels, etc.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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