The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Iphigenia X
Corn Queen
Every year at the Swiss County Harvest Festival, the Corn Queen inherits the honor of representing her rural, Midwestern community at the State Fair and the occasional Walmart Grand Opening. And she gets a curse, too.
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

It seemed like there should have been a lot more there.

An actual explanation of the curse would have helped, what happened to the other Corn Queens (did they just get pregnant, or did they end up getting really big and pregnant, or what?), the significance of being Corn queen in the first place, (you made a point of making her poor, is there a cash prize or something?) some sort of resolution Re: the brother, and maybe another thing.

The Gods (who both appear to be female?) at the end don't seem to help matters any, obviously they're more concerned with male/female pairings, but we never learn why, and that really bothered me, along with the other unresolved issues in this story. Having all this stuff floating around the characters and then rushing them off for sex and ending it sort of disconnected me from them, hence the low character rating. I think that if there had been less setup for the world, then it might have been higher, as it would have been a straight-to-BE sort of story, but it really looked like there was going to be a lot more plot than there was, especially when the previous Corn Queen is standing around being pregnant and ominous...

The growth was interesting, and I'd liked to have seen more interaction with her breasts, but that's just me.

On the whole, it seemed like you were off to a good start, but that there could/should have been more to flesh this story out. I'd have enjoyed it if it were twice as long, and resolved all the issues that it left open. That's why I gave Technical a 3.

And for those of you who don't know, "gaydar" is radar that detects gays, or your ability to tell if someone is a homosexual.

Very Free
Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

I enjoyed it until the bottom dropped out of the story at the end. WTF is gaydar? It certainly isn't in _my_ dictionary!

Local Idiot
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Loved it, but far too short! When will we see more of this story?

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Ok, I absolutely loved the intro and discussion with all the family members. Would have loved to see her curse explored more and who the two unnamed voices are at the end. Loved the subtle mention of preg and I love all the lac I can handle! Keep it up.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Short and sweet. Wondering if we'll learn some more about the two mysterious Female Entities Without Names from the last paragraph.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

'It's a spell. It has to do something.'

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

I liked the author's story. My issue arises from its brevity - it's so short that I don't fully understand what all is going on. I feel like there should be more to the story.

Did Hope become pregnant after all? What about the curse? I realize it didn't affect her because she was a lesbian, but still - more than two lines about the curse would have been nice.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Truly awesome story. It's short, but not too short. I can't wait to see more like this.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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