The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Invisible Twinkie
Jump Dreams
Set in 2010 physics revolutionizes travel with a new form of transportation, known as jumping. Jumping isn't perfect and is responsible for weird, "Jump Dreams" .  Sarah a college physics grad student finds her own research is being used against her and yields in some expansive results.

For comments email 
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

A number of spelling errors, but I liked the concept and general presentation. Could have gone on longer... longer description of Sarah's time in captivity, expand on what happened after her pregnancy, and maybe some investigation as to whether or not the whole thing really happened or was just a jump dream. All in all, enjoyable.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

I don't get why you bothered setting up the idea of "Jump Dreams" if the net effect wasn't any different than a normal dream. There were also a number of spelling and grammatical errors which a spell check program can't catch.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: