The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Christina Hendricks the Boar Queen
Christina Hendricks gets captured by a fat boar beast who transformers her into a mate. 

Warning contains weight gain, scat, hair growth, transformation (pigish) and other odd things. 
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

Yeah, the premise was good, but the spelling and grammar in this story need to be brought up to scratch. You have the makings of a good story, but you just need to polish it up.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

i liked how she got overgrown and hairy. was enjoyable

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Was not as much scat as feared. It's best to remember most people are squeamish of it, but having work around hogs, and various other livestock, for years it's hard to get away from it in a direct transformation. Could have done without the visual of her waking up in a pile though.
It was okay; not bad but could have been better. Average at best and that's with excluding the scat. The characters could use some more personality and back story for instance. Flesh them out before putting flesh on them if it were. The descriptions where good for the way the story was but...
If you do plan to continue, may I ask that you do more "real time" or as they happen changes instead of "time skip-this is what changed"; I don't want to be told her extra breast where growing after a few days, but when she first notice them and how big they grew a day.
I'm curious to see where the story may continue, but less for Christina to finish her transformations and more to see if other women are captured and undergo similar changes, mainly BE and growing multiple sets of boobs.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

When the description says there'll be stuff you don't like, it seems a little silly to comment and complain about it.

You were warned, so quit belly-aching.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Sry, I won't read scat.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

I never understand people who feel compelled to use celebrities in their stories. Is the fictional degradation of real people that enticing?

Some Guy in a Band
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

The enjoyment went down because of the scat, but I knew what it was going in, so, shame on me. Still, it could've been better. More description of the growth or end result, rather than just stating "They're this big now," but it wasn't too bad in that regard, just could've been better. Christina was a tad bland, I didn't feel sorry for her predicament because I didn't know her prior, but the king was better because you know what he's supposed to be and why he's doing what he is. Technically, you want to put paragraphs between speaking characters, but your spelling and wording is pretty good. Just try to avoid using parenthesis to explain action. Tell us what they're doing, use your words. Right down the middle, so not bad, Foogo.

Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

it was.... different.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2


Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Interesting but not bad. Just different. The writing was much better than your previous attempt but still contained a few mistakes. Keep up the good work.

el burro
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Kill me. Please God, kill me now.

Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Um...don't quit your day job.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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