The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Invictusvoxfini & Various Others in Collab
Impregnation Invasion
Earth is besieged by massively gravid mutant women! As they bloat more and more of the female populace, humanity scrambles to find a means to fight back!

Be warned, it contains some bursting!
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

I found this story rather enjoyable.
I would nickname it "A Maesiophile's Delight."

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

Too many stops and starts. I like a good preg story now and then (and there aren't enough here, IMO). Yours is a bursting story through and through. It is out of the scope for TOB, I do not recall enough BE for there to be an adequate description. Any BE that presents itself in your writing is completely overshadowed by other things. There are no characters, just victims and aggressors with names.

There are too many things going on. I have to pay attention to a bunch of names that may or may not come back later, alien officers (or what I equate to officers) that are forgettable, as they quickly make way for other aliens officers to do the exact same thing. I couldn't even finish this - there was no point. After the first few pages, there was nothing new to look forward to.

That is not to say you have zero writing talent. On the contrary, you write well. My problem is that you have a lot of content, but much of it is either a duplicate or darn similar to previous content. I took you down one point on Tech for this. I took you down another for POV-wobble. There were times I had to re-read who was thinking or saying what.

Please contribute more, but consider something that demands less of you. For example, consider doing a similar story to this, but only use 10 (or whatever) characters. Whatever must be done, you can only do in __ pages of word.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 5

"Some" bursting? By quantity not that many girls burst, but the writing has a heavy focus on it.

From what I read the story quality isn't bad, but I don't feel that it is content appropriate for this site.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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